Posted by: b1ueeyes | January 23, 2009


I have as long as I remembered enjoyed playing cards. The easy ones, not like poker or gin. When I was newly graduated from school and were looking for a job I could get a second income from as I already worked at a hotel. I found one that sounded great, however, I did not match their requirements. They asked for driver’s license, someone above 20, and had some experience from casino. As I was curious to find out what kind of job this was, I sent in my application and shortly after I was asked to come to a local bar for a course in Black Jack. Joy! They wanted to give me a chance.
Before this I do not think I have ever seen this before, really! But the course went on and I really enjoyed the game. For almost ten years I worked on and off, weekends, holidays, weekdays.. Every card I turned was a new possibility, win or lose, good or bad salary, happy or unhappy players. One nice advantage was that I could get beverages for free while working and a nice discount on drinks on the non working evenings, I really enjoy the game. Mix the cards, deal, meet people, and listen to great music. I was out, at a party, but yet, not at all.
If I was not working I normally went to the tables, just to play a little bit, or just to see. How would I know that I would miss it so badly, even though it is obvious?

I woke up really early by a nightmare and could not fall asleep again. Even though it is the last day of this working day for me, this had a huge effect on me today. Unfortunately I cried in front of someone that should not see me like this. I was really tired. Exhausted. Stressed. I would like that some things is in a specific way- my way. When I am out of control it is a challenge to redeem it again. A goal to work towards. When this fails, it is a huge disappointment to me, like today, partially.
On my way home it was cold and rainy. Of course. I am in Amsterdam in wintertime, or anytime actually. As soon as I arrived the jeans got changed to sports pants, even though I do not practice that.
Hopefully I will be able to get some rest this weekend, even though it is many plans made.


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