Posted by: b1ueeyes | February 8, 2009

How I ended up here.

NikitaEating, talking to one of my sisters, watched a movie and looked at old pictures I found hidden away on the old computer and besides that absolutely nothing, which was well needed. A perfect Sunday.

I really miss my family and friends, miss talking with them, seeing them, doing things. To be able to take the car and see anyone of them within minutes- or hours depending on where they live. To just decide to have a party, go out to dance and have fun, take the boat to Norway, go out for dinner, see my sisters, work a lot just to have money to travel. Now I am where part of my heart have been since I went to Amsterdam the very first time, end of May 1998.
Now, it is only phone calls, chat on msn, a letter or postcard now and then and hopefully a flight back to the motherland one or more time per year.

The reason why I like it so much here is the cute little houses, the canals, funny small shops, the variety of things, short distances to everything, good public network, nice people, funny language, markets, bars, restaurants, the snacks and work opportunities. Since the first time I went to Amsterdam, I have been interested in reading, watching, hearing everything about this city. I hope that everyone I know can have the possibility to enjoy this also.

I resigned from a steady job I had to be able to move. I have had this dream for a long time, to move and hopefully also be able to speak Dutch one day. When I finally took the step, it was time. I packed away my materialistic life in banana boxes, quit all contracts, said goodbye to all my loved ones to take this step. I knew that it was going to be hard, but never, guessed that I would feel what I did. I could not imagine.

I lived at my mothers place for a couple of weeks until she finally realized that it was not possible to change my mind- so she took the next step- to kick me out. The last attempt to affect me.
Then I filled my car with the bags I had prepared and could stay at my sister the last time before the bus was going. It was really nice to be able to live so close to my other sisters the short time I had left, and also with my independent sister and her family.
When the time had come, I hugged my sister and it was really heartbreaking to see her cry when I drove off. Shortly after I met my other sister as she was saying goodbye at the station, and also she was crying. It still hurt and I sometimes also cry when I think back.

The bus took about 18 hours and to be seated for this time, not talking to anyone is boring, even though I was prepared with fully charged cellphone- for the radio, books, snacks, magazines, camera and a pillow. I called my mother some times, just to let her know that I was fine and give her my location. But also to feel that she was close.

I was told that I should share the apartment from the job I got offered, with 3 other people so I knew that I had people to talk with. When I finally arrived at Amstel Station, a friend met me up and we went to the job place, I signed all papers and was driven to the apartment. This was probably the warmest day if the year and I was dizzy from the journey, carry all the luggage and the change.
It was a horrible place, not at all as I was told. It was supposed to be fully equipped, but several cleaning things were not there, no TV, no radio, not clean and no roomies.

I had 3 bags and 1 pillow when I arrived. I had to start all over, with food, spices, drinks, towels, blanket, shampoo, shower gel, candles to make it cozy and a lot of other things I never thought about that I needed. Just to get a simple thing as safety pins was an adventure and took some time as I was completely new to the neighborhood.

The apartment was empty, no roomies as I was first informed so were not able to speak to anyone as I still had about a week until I started my new job. No internet and a lot time on my hands. I mostly went in to the city center, as I were able to walk around and to get the things I needed.
Slowly, slowly, I started up a new life, far, far away from everything I knew.

I just ordered the pizzas and they will be enjoyed with soda to round off this weekend and be prepared for another week of work.


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