Posted by: b1ueeyes | May 20, 2009

Only some thoughts.

Sometimes, when I am alone, or by myself, I really enjoy not talking to anyone, I can listen to music after the mood, sleep long, watch a girlie movie or just daydream or think about the past. Why things are like they are, what I have been doing, how the choices I made have lead me further.

When I am bored or in a bad mood, I try to sheer myself up with a silly daydream, like.. What I should do with the money if I won the jackpot.. That when I was younger, knew and felt what I know and feel today- that I could have prepared better for the “older days”.

It is amazing how one small decision can have so big impact and what that in its turn lead up to and show the way for. Why are some things very easy and the rest so hard? What is the lesson behind it all? How to handle in the best way?

Not to go crazy with these ideas or way of thinking of this, sadness or stress, I can now turn to books again. I have started to read once again and I believe that is good for me- and after new books from my sweet friend, I am not too worried to not have anything left to read. I am reading about one book per week/ other 2 weeks. This is one of the few times- besides games I can really relax- not to think of anything but just be and catch up. Give the mind some break.

There is so many things I want to do, think about for future plans and memories that I get really stressed by, to keep the mind from not wondering, I have to be busy.

But do I need to have the answers? Or is this they way it will always be? Unanswered questions?


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