Posted by: b1ueeyes | September 27, 2009

What I think..

I am in a period of watching web TV and dream myself away. Right now I follow a show about young mothers. I would love to have that kind of life- a home and a family. This feeling is getting stronger and stronger and as this seem more and more impossible and of course I question my choices.
At one end I feel extremely relaxed as I have a boyfriend, job and a home I love but still there is something missing. I look at websites for cats and kittens but that is all as I want my boyfriend to agree. I want the complete deal, everything, what I am missing from now. So I have my days when I have no energy to leave the apartment, just lie in bed, surf, watch movies and TV to dream away. Then at least I am not stressing about what I dream about.

So what is life all about? To have a high education, to earn well, to have most things you dream about, to be in love, to have a family..

Some days are great, I have many ideas, much energy and want to meet friends, do things. The blue days are coming more often now and trying to have the energy to do things I know I get in a better mood by.

When I should have wanted family I was not ready, and now when I feel ready- there is not a possibility, that is why I sometimes question my choices in life- why can it not match, what I feel and what I can?

Missing friends and family and can at this time not go there either, not even sure that would be a solution when I am this blue.

Aha – Take on me.

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Responses

  1. Tänker på dig


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