Posted by: b1ueeyes | November 13, 2009

Drained out.

I have made some mistakes in my life but now I am trying to get everything together, step by step. I have made plans for several things to be able to feel good about myself. I have found a job I really enjoy, started plans to the financial situation and signed up at the gym. I have cut down and or stopped with by bad habits. Snacks and unhealthy food crosses my way now and then still, but it is a huge difference.

I try to overcome my fears to do things I am not comfortable with, I try to be more social and also enjoy myself with a nice body scrub from Body Shop. Small things to try to make me happy.

I was meeting a friend yesterday and had planned this for a while. We went looking in stores a bit and then went to eat and talk and had a good time. At around half eleven I had 48 missed calls and a horrible sms that knocked me out. Several calls after that and discussion when I got home. In the morning I got woken up.
I went to the gym, yoga and then got help to figure out some of the machines in the gym. I had a lump in belly for just entering the gym but had a nice person showing me around and letting me try different exercises. In the end of the tour I got a program I could use and I feel very excited about this.

When coming home I still had the lump and have been so far today very sad, exhausted and drained out. I have not been able to do a thing at all even though there is always things to do. These jumps from happiness to complete unhappiness is unbearable.

I am. Empty.

All Sains – Pure Shores
30 Seconds To Mars- From Yesterday


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