Posted by: b1ueeyes | January 17, 2010

What motivates you?

Is a question I have been struggling with a while. What does it mean?

Honestly- what motivates me? Motivates me in which way and in what? Family, friends, a home, a job? Normally I would say that the most important thing is that I am feeling good, proud of who I am and to have people I care about close to me. Before I had an idea what made me feel good. That I had friends and family I could visit or call. That I had enough money to survive, being able to laugh with someone.
Now it is changed.

The whole way of my life is different. It have taken some time to find a good place to live, lived almost a year under stressful conditions, get into the job, overcome to speak in another language, meet new people. I really had none when I came here. Left family and friends, security(jobs was there but nothing was certain so could not plan anything), my cat..

Most days are really awesome, I feel great, sweet boyfriend, a home, a job I really enjoy and know some great people here. But some days are just low. When I really miss my family and friends and know that I can just not meet them. Sometimes they can not answer when I call, and I get more low.

And then it changes back again. I guess that is what life is about. I can not have it all. Not at once at least. And not be at all places at the same time.

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