Posted by: b1ueeyes | April 22, 2010

I hate the reflection..

of myself. On the last group lesson I had at the gym, the trainer wanted us to watch our self moving- to be able to see how the movements are done. I actually felt sick- seeing myself. I look awkward, pale, wide, fat and like an idiot. It was really unpleasant and uncomfortable. I could not stand myself so tried to look away as much as possible.

This issue have become bigger and bigger- even now, when I meet someones eyes at work, I try to look away as I do not want them to see me- I hate myself and how I look and it is starting to become unpleasant being around people. I just want to be left alone- but I can never be that.

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