Posted by: b1ueeyes | May 29, 2010

Why does it hurt?

It feels like I am shattered between two life’s, one here in Holland and one in Sweden. Half a piece of my heart is here and the other is up there. Why cant they be together? Why do I have to chose? In a way- I already did- at least for now.

The pain is getting worse and I get more sad- when it should be the opposite, mu life is finally- and have been- arranged since I moved here several years ago.

Why cant I know for sure what I want? Why cant I be sure of whom I am? When I was younger I was sure it will be more sure a long the way in my life, years passed, done a lot of things, good things, useful and interesting thins but also stupid things- really stupid. Now it is finally good- or should be at least but feel more confused than ever.

Why cant it be easy? Why does it hurt to not know?

If it my feelings continue like this I do not know where it can end if not turn.

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